


Broken

by Bridge_to_geek



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Asexual Character, Cathar, F/M, Jedi Consular Spoilers, Slavery mention, Twi'leks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7968061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bridge_to_geek/pseuds/Bridge_to_geek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zenith has a question for Doliezu. Takes place after Chapter 3 of Jedi Consular story in SW:tOR.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Zenith is my favorite JC companion. I'm really disappointed you can't romance him. Still holding out for a dramatic KotFE reunion though.  
> My first AO3 post. Feedback welcome.

“Jedi, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, Zenith, what is it?” The revolutionary-come-politician shifted uneasily in the entrance to the alcove Doliezu used for meditation. “I don’t mean to pry, but I’ve been thinking, have you ever loved someone?” She raised an eyebrow. “Not like that,” Zenith added quickly, “but your family, or a friend from the academy. Not romantic, just, cared about them.”

Doliezu thought, “I certainly care about my family, but I haven’t seen them in a long time. I’m not sure they’d recognize me.” She looked up, “Why do you ask?”

“I’ve been thinking about my family lately. My father was a factory worker, my mother the foreman. They died when the Empire bombed their factory.”

“That’s tragic. How old were you?”

He shrugged. “Fourteen, but it hit my sister harder than it did me. She was always close to our father.”

“Did your sister survive?”

A wry smile creased Zenith’s tired face, “She was the one who convinced me to join the resistance during the occupation. ‘Spitfire’ was her codename.”

“She sounds remarkable. Is she still on Balmorra?”

Something hard entered Zenith’s eyes, “Remember that Imperial administrator from the Okara Droid Factory?”

“The one who was selling Balmorrans into slavery?”

“Not anymore,” he added grimly, “but yes. Five years after we had joined the resistance, his detachment caught my sister and her squad during a scavenging run.”

“That’s terrible.”

“She was fifteen.”

“I can only imagine how much pain that must have caused you.”

“Do you know what they do to teenage Twi’lek girls? Last I heard she got sent off to Nar Shadaa for some Hutt’s pleasure barge.” There were tears in his violet eyes, “My baby sister, Jedi, she was all I had.”

Something clicked in Doliezu’s mind, “That’s why you hate the Empire so much.”

“I hate the Empire because they’re evil, Jedi. They destroy families and slaughter innocents. They took over Balmorra and handed us to the Sith like we were nothing.” Tears were streaming down his face.

“Zenith, if you let this hatred continue, it’ll destroy you.”

“Let it. I have nothing left to lose. If my hatred burns out the Empire, what do I care if I’m caught up in the fire?” He slammed his fist into the wall and choked out a sob, and then he was quiet. Doliezu sat in silence. When he turned to her, his tears had disappeared.

“Zenith, I can sense that you don’t really feel that way.”

He caught himself, looking at her face like a puzzle. “Back in the resistance, guys would show off for the local girls. Talk about how many Imperials they had killed, or towns they had saved. They figured each day could be their last, might as well enjoy it.”

“And you?”

He shrugged, “Never interested me. Doesn’t mean I didn’t get attention, it just sort of rolled off me.” His face was lost in thought a moment, and then he looked at her again, “So, you didn’t answer my question. Is there anyone you love?”

“I guess I love the crew. It’s sort of become a family for me. Nadia, Qyzen, Felix, even Theran. We’ve been through so much, I feel bonded to all of them. So I do.”

He looked down, almost ashamed, “And me?”

She looked at him, “Zenith, is there something you want to tell me?”

“Yes-no…maybe?”

“You know Jedi are forbidden from engaging in romantic relationships.”

“No, it’s not like that, like I said, never interested me, I just…” he kneaded his forehead, visibly frustrated. He looked her dead in the eyes, “Look, Jedi. The only person I ever loved is my sister. She’s gone, I don’t think I’ll ever see her again. But I remember what that felt like, and this,” he grabbed a fistful of his shirt over his heart, “it feels like that, but it’s different. I don’t want you, I just want you to be happy, and I’d kill anyone who hurt you. It- argh.” He knelt down and brought his face close to hers, his voice trembling, “I love you, Jedi, more than a sister. I don’t want to be your lover, I just want to be…more than what we are, now.”

She looked at him, then put one hand on his shoulder, “There are many societies in the galaxy that describe what you feel, Zenith. A love greater than companionship, but does not desire sexual expression.”

“There is? I thought…for the longest time, Jedi, I thought I was broken, I didn’t feel what other people felt, and that…concerned me.”

She smiled, “You’re not broken, Zenith.”

He grimaced, “I’ve been broken a long time, Jedi, just not in this instance.”

“There’s a Jedi teaching that the first step to change on a greater scale starts with self-acceptance. We view ourselves the way we view others.”

“So, what do I do?”

“What is it that you really came here to talk to me about?”

Very slowly, like a man sticking his hand into fire, her lifted his hand to his shoulder where her hand lay. Gently, he took it in his own hands and stared at her. “I-I’m not sure. I’ve had dreams about you. Until I came on your ship, most of my dreams were just flashbacks. I didn’t sleep much before.  But these are different. We just…talk. Except we’re on Balmorra, before the Empire came. It was beautiful then. We’d just sit and talk. And that’s enough for me, just being with you.”

“What do we talk about?”

“I don’t remember. I think you told me about Jedi philosophy once. I fell asleep in the dream and when I woke up, you were singing.” He blushed, “I kissed you once.”

“And when you woke up?”

“I was…happy, almost like I was in the dream, but then I panicked.”

“You panicked?”

“Whenever I’ve had something good, it’s taken away by the Empire. I thought it was a matter of time until they got you.” He looked down, “When you faced the First Son, I was scared, Jedi.”

“You weren’t with me, Zenith.”

“Exactly. Until you came up from that cave, it was like you were somewhere between alive and dead. I couldn’t stop pacing, and I almost shot Cedrax. Twice.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Not the point. The point is I care about you, Jedi. More than I’ve cared about anyone in my life. The way you’re so calm in situations that cause most people to panic, I admire you for that. I find myself watching you as you meditate before a fight. You’re…so beautiful.”

“I’m flattered, Zenith. I never knew you felt this way.”

“So what happens now?”

“I don’t follow.”

“This is the part where you let me down gently, ‘Zenith, Jedi are forbidden from relationships’, or ‘Zenith, you’re too old, too damaged’, or ‘Zenith, go jump out an airlock, I never want to see you again’. I know how this goes.”

He stood back up, but to his surprise, Doliezu followed him up. “Zenith, I don’t want to let you down, gently or otherwise. There are many things I admire about you too. Some would call them attraction, but I look at them as affection for someone I care about, so I guess I feel the same way.”

“You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”

“Of course not.”

Awkwardly, he put his arms on her shoulders and brought her close to his chest. He wrapped his arms protectively around her, one hand stroking her soft, dark hair. “Is this okay, Jedi?”

She let out a contented hum as she nuzzled Zenith’s chest. “I rather like it.”

He lay a gentle kiss on her velvet forehead, “Good, so do I.”


End file.
